By Jack Rico
We begin the third week of April with a whopping 19 movie releases, which is a huge amount of films for one single week, not including all those arriving on VOD. This is probably one of the worst weeks in movies of the year as well. When Johnny Depp’s biggest competition this week is Marlon Wayans and some bears, that’s got to be a sad state of affairs. I mean, there is a penis documentary called ‘The Final Member’ that sounds like a joke, but it’s true. Despite that, perhaps the most beguiling film of the week is John Turturro’s ‘Fading Gigolo‘ which includes a rare appearance of Woody Allen as an actor in someone else’s film. That in itself is a treat. Peruse the rest of the line-up and see if anything catches your attention.
Below is the list of ALL the movies coming out this weekend and I rank them in descending order of my personal interest…
19. Poseidon Rex (NR, 1hr 19min, Drama, Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy)
Director: Mark L. Lester
Cast: Brian Krause, Anne McDaniels, Steven Helmkamp
Synopsis: A small, secluded island off the coast of Belize suddenly finds itself terrorized by a deadly predator from the planet’s distant past when deep sea divers accidentally awaken an ancient evil.
18. 13 Sins (R, 1hr 32min, Suspense/Thriller)
Director: Daniel Stamm
Cast: Mark Webber, Devon Graye, Tom Bower
Synopsis: A cryptic phone call sets off a dangerous game of risks for Elliot, a down-on-his luck salesman. The game promises increasing rewards for completing 13 tasks, each more sinister than the last.
17. Small Time (R, 1hr 35min, Drama)
Director: Joel Surnow
Cast: Christopher Meloni, Dean Norris, Bridget Moynahan
Synopsis: A young guy decides to skip college in favor of joining his father’s on the lot of his used-car business.
16. 2 States (NR, 2hr 15min, Art House/Foreign Comedy)
Director: Abhishek Varman
Cast: Arjun Kapoor, Alia Bhatt, Amrita Singh
Synopsis: A culturally opposite couple decide to get married, but everything goes downhill when the parents meet.
15. Redwood Highway (PG-13, 1hr 30min, Drama, Family)
Directors: Gary Lundgren
Cast: Shirley Knight, Tom Skerritt, Danforth Comins
Synopsis: Marie decides to journey 80 miles on foot to the coast of Oregon to revisit the ocean of her past for the first time in 45 years.
14. Antboy (PG, 1hr 17min, Action/Adventure Comedy)
Director: Ask Hasselbalch
Cast: Oscar Dietz, Nicolas Bro, Samuel Ting Graf
Synopsis: 12-year-old Pelle is bitten by an ant and develops superpowers. Aided by comic book nerd Wilhelm, Pelle creates a secret identity as superhero Antboy. When a super villain The Flea enters the scene, Antboy must step up to the challenge.
13. A Promise (1hr 34min, Drama, Romance)
Director: Patrice Leconte
Cast: Rebecca Hall, Alan Rickman, Richard Madden
Synopsis: A romantic drama set in Germany just before WWI and centered on a married woman who falls in love with her husband’s protégé. Separated first by duties and then by the war, they pledge their devotion to one another.
12. Proxy (NR, 120 min, Drama, Horror, Thriller)
Director: Zack Parker
Cast: Joe Swanberg, Kristina Klebe, Alexa Havins
Synopsis: While walking home from her latest OB appointment, a very pregnant Esther Woodhouse is brutally attacked and disfigured by a hooded assailant. This horrible event seems to be a blessing in disguise when Esther finds consolation in a support group. Her life of sadness and solitude is opened up to friendship, understanding, and even acceptance. However, friendship and understanding can be very dangerous things when accepted by the wrong people.
11. Kid Cannabis (1hr 45min, Drama)
Director: John Stockwell
Cast: Jonathan Daniel Brown, Kenny Wormald, Ron Perlman
Synopsis: An eighteen year old high school drop out and his twenty-seven year old friend start trafficking marijuana across the border of Canada in order to make money and their lives are changed forever.
10. That Demon Within (NR, 1hr 52min, Action, Adventure, Art House/Foreign)
Director: Dante Lam
Cast: Daniel Wu, Nick Cheung, Andy On
Synopsis: A psychological action-thriller revolving around a dutiful cop (played by Daniel Wu) guilt-ridden over saving the life of a crime boss. When the crime head continues his violent and extreme ways.
9. Tasting Menu (PG-13, 1hr 25min, Comedy, Drama)
Director: Roger Gual
Cast: Jan Cornet, Claudia Bassols, Vicenta N’Dongo, Andrew Tarbet
Synopsis: As one of the world’s best restaurants opens for its final evening, a couple in the midst of a divorce who made their reservation a year ago (before separating) reunite for a once-in-lifetime meal.
8. The Final Member (R, 1hr 15min, Documentary, Comedy)
Director: Jonah Bekhor, Zach Math
Cast: Sigurður Hjartarson, Páll Arason, Tom Mitchell, Ásbjörn Björgvinsson
Synopsis: Paris has the Louvre. London has the Tate Modern, and New York the Metropolitan Museum. But Husavik, Iceland—a diminutive village on the fringe of the Arctic Circle—boasts the world’s only museum devoted exclusively to painstakingly preserved male genitalia. Founded and curated by Sigurður “Siggi” Hjartarson, the Icelandic Phallological Museum houses four decades worth of mammalian members, from a petite field mouse to the colossal sperm whale, and every “thing” in between. But, lamentably, Siggi’s collection lacks the holy grail of phallic phantasmagoria: a human specimen. Siggi’s world changes dramatically when he receives generous offers from an elderly Icelandic Casanova and an eccentric American. However, as the competition for eternal penile preservation heats up between the two men, Siggi soon discovers that this process is more complicated than it initially appeared. In their debut feature film, Jonah Bekhor and Zach Math follow Siggi on his dogged, often emotional quest to complete his exhibition in a peculiar, yet startlingly relatable, story of self-fulfillment and the value of personal legacies (both big and small).
7. Cesar’s Last Fast (1 hr 40min, Documentary)
Director: Lorena Parlee , Richard Ray Perez
Cast: Rebecca Hall, Alan Rickman, Richard Madden
Synopsis: Inspired by Catholic social teaching, Cesar Chavez risked his life fighting for America’s poorest workers. Using a treasure of archive footage and personal interviews from Chavez’s colleagues and friends, the documentary illuminates the intensity of one man’s devotion and personal sacrifice. The archive footage in the film offers a rare glimpse from Chavez’s peers in the movement; including Dolores Huerta, and Filipino American activist Larry Itliong. CESAR’S LAST FAST tells of the birth of an economic justice movement, and sheds light on an untold chapter of civil rights in America.
6. Make Your Move (PG-13, 1hr 50min, Drama)
Director: Duane Adler
Cast: Derek Hough, BoA, Will Yun Lee, Wesley Jonathan
Synopsis: A pair of star-crossed dancers in New York find themselves at the center of a bitter rivalry between their brothers’ underground dance clubs.
5. Heaven Is for Real (PG, 1hr 50min, Drama)
Director: Randall Wallace
Cast: Greg Kinnear, Kelly Reilly, Thomas Haden Church, Connor Corum
Synopsis: A small-town father must find the courage and conviction to share his son’s extraordinary, life-changing experience with the world.
4. A Haunted House 2 (R, 1hr 27min, Comedy, Horror)
Director: Michael Tiddes
Cast: Marlon Wayans, Jaime Pressly, Cedric the Entertainer, Essence Atkins
Synopsis: Having exorcised the demons of his ex, Malcolm is starting fresh with his new girlfriend and her two children. After moving into their dream home, however, Malcolm is once again plagued by bizarre paranormal events.
3. Bears (G, 1 hr 17 min, Documentary)
Director: Alastair Fothergill, Keith Scholey
Cast: Narrated by John C. Reilly
Synopsis: A documentary that follows an Alaskan bear family as its young cubs are taught life’s most important lessons.
2. Fading Gigolo (R , 1 hr 38 min, Comedy, Drama)
Director: John Turturro
Cast: Woody Allen, Sofia Vergara, Liev Schreiber, Sharon Stone, John Turturro, Vanessa Paradis
Synopsis: Fioravante decides to become a professional Don Juan as a way of making money to help his cash-strapped friend, Murray. With Murray acting as his “manager”, the duo quickly finds themselves caught up in the crosscurrents of love and money.
1. Transcendence (PG-13 , 1 hr 59 min, Action/Adventure, Suspense/Thriller)
Director: Wally Pfister
Cast: Johnny Depp, Kate Mara, Rebecca Hall, Morgan Freeman, Cillian Murphy, Paul Bettany
Synopsis: A scientific genius’s pursuit of knowledge evolves into an omnipresent thirst for power.