Justin Timberlake will host the Oscars?

Say those six words when you get to the gates of hell and you’ll immediately be ushered to the VIP section.

I think it’s pretty effin’ disgusting that the producers are even considering allowing this douche bag host the Oscars. How long are the Oscars? Like 15 hours? Imagine sitting through 15 hours of Justin Timberlake. There isn’t enough booze and drugs on the planet to get you through that.

A source told The National Enquirer (via CM) that the producers were impressed with Justin after watching him host the ESPY Awards. They thought he was “naturally funny.” And me thinks the producers are “naturally high.”

They also think Justin could bring in a younger audience. The source went on to say, “Justin is more than a singer, he’s a song-and-dance man – and turned in a performance (at the ESPY Awards) any comedian would envy. Our first question was, ‘Can we get him?’ Justin does it all, and knows how to work a star-studded audience.” Song-and-dance man? Since when is this douche Gene Kelly?

This may be the perfect time to end the Oscars awards show. It’s been a good run, but it’s time to call it a day the minute you start to consider Justin Timberfake as a host. Instead, they can hand out the awards in the parking lot of Bob’s Big Boy after Sunday buffet brunch.