Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters

Talk about giving a spin to a classic fairytale, ‘Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters’ makes such drastic changes that it is no longer suitable for children; it definitely earns its R rating. This movie is extremely violent and every other word out of its characters mouths is a swear word; this is certainly Hansel and Gretel like we’ve never seen them or even imagined them before. The movie is original with some burrowed ideas yet predictable, it has absolutely no intelligent value but nonetheless it is mindlessly entertaining.

After slaying an evil witch that lived in a candy house as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) become celebrity witch hunters and are seeked out by villages to get rid of witches and keep their children safe. The two are professionals at their job, but get a real challenge when they face Muriel (Famke Janssen) an extremely powerful witch. With some help from the locals, such as groupie fan boy Ben (Thomas Mann) they might stand a chance.

The thing that keeps this short 88-minute film entreating is the gory violence and quick powerful fights and effects, because without this the plot and dialogue are too weak to stand on their own. The violence really took me by surprise and it just tops itself scene after scene. The effects are well executed, as the witches are the complete package, they are this zombie looking quick moving, scary monsters unlike the witches of fairytales. The 3D is mainly noticed when things break and we are thrown pieces, but besides that there’s not much to it.

There are many things that contradict the setting and storyline the main one being the high tech weapons the duo uses, also the kind of innocence of the main two is laughable and there are many distractions away from the main plot. My favorite character is a troll named Edward (Robin Atkin Downes); he’s a computerized monster that easily wins us over.

If the film were any longer it would loose its essence as would start running out of ideas and even the violence wouldn’t be able to provide it with more entertainment. You forget about the film soon after you walk out the theater and it’s best because if you begin to analyze it you will certainly destroy the little fantasy it created. It’s just a good bloody time at the movies; don’t go expecting too much and you can enjoy the show. A note to those that decide to watch it in theaters: a sneak peek of ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ which opens March 29th is shown before the film begins and it is quite a treat, so don’t miss it.