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Movie Reviews

Ted Faraone

By

2010/02/25 at 12:00am

The Crazies

02.25.2010 | By |

The Crazies

In the 37 years since helmer George A. Romero foisted on us the $275,000 sci-fi/horror flick, “Crazies,” not much has changed except the value of the Dollar.  The remake, billed as “The Crazies,” by helmer Breck Eisner, cost an estimated $12 million to make.  It’s still pretty cheesy.  And Romero gets executive producer credit.
 
Pic climaxes with an atomic bomb blast leveling an Iowa town.  Too bad that its negative was not at ground zero.  “The Crazies” is that awful.  It gets half a star for some unintentionally funny scenes.  It loses stars for telegraphing plot moves in advance, failing to build compelling characterizations, totally expected “Deus Ex Machina” resolutions when writers Scott Kosar and Ray Wright painted themselves into corners, crummy continuity, stilted dialogue, and blurry lensing.  “The Crazies” uses every cheap trick to create suspense… and fails miserably.
 
Plot adheres fairly closely to the Romero original.  Folks in a small town start going crazy, becoming homicidal maniacs.  Source of the problem is quickly traced by Sherriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant, whom we last saw in the atrocious “Perfect Getaway”) to a downed jet in the town’s watershed.  How a jet goes down in a small town without apparent damage and without an immediate response is beyond even the suspension of disbelief.  This jet went down a week before pic’s action takes place.  And no one save the town blowhard noticed.

We must mention pic’s funniest scene:  The local undertaker has been infected.  He goes after Sherriff Dutton with a high speed bone saw.  Dutton subdues the mad mortuarian but the saw is still running.  Propelled across the mortuary floor by its own motor, It heads straight for Dutton’s crotch until his deputy (Joe Anderson VI) steps on the power cord in one of those Deus Ex Machina moments.  One wonders why the Army didn’t also cut off the electricity.

The purpose of a pic such as “The Crazies” is to create suspense, instill fear in audiences, and have them hanging on the edge of their seats for the ending.  Fernando Meirelles did a far better job with similar subject matter in the 2008 “Blindness.”

Pic’s ending has sequel written all over it.  Ultimately it will depend on the box office that this piece of trash does.  “The Crazies,” which feels a good deal longer than its 101 minute run time, is rated “R” thanks to violence and repeated use of a four letter word for intercourse.

Jack Rico

By

2010/02/23 at 12:00am

Everybody’s Fine

02.23.2010 | By |

Rating: 4.0

Rated: PG-13 for thematic elements and brief strong language.
Release Date: 2009-12-04
Starring: Kirk Jones, Massimo De Rita, Tonino Guerra, Giuseppe Tornatore
Director(s):
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Country:USA
Official Website: NULL

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Alex Florez

By

2010/02/23 at 12:00am

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

02.23.2010 | By |

Rating: 1.5

Rated: PG-13 for sequences of intense supernatural violence and action, disturbing images, thematic elements and some language.
Release Date: 2009-10-23
Starring: Paul Weitz, Brian Helgeland
Director(s):
Distributor:
Film Genre:
Country:USA
Official Website: Not available.

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The minute a genre becomes popular, Hollywood does its very best to milk it.  To squeeze every last dime out of our pockets.  And it will continue to do it as long as there continues to be an audience for it.  Let’s take ‘SAW’ as an example.  This week, the franchise releases its 6th installment with numbers 7 & 8 already on the way.  Let us remember that the first film hit theaters in 2004. Can they crank them out or what?

However, what seems to be all the rage these days are vampires. They’re everywhere: movies, TV shows, books, toys and on Halloween in every costume party in America.  To what do we owe this resurgence? Why the public obsession with a corpse supposed, in European folklore, to leave its grave at night drink the blood of the living? I have my own opinions about it but Hollywood could care less so long as we keep opening up our wallets.

For those that haven’t yet had their fill, this week you’ll have the option of seeing Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, but do so at your own risk.  The film, based on the popular series of books by Darren Shan, will do little to excite the average viewer.

Here’s the gist: A 16 year-old unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires. Pulled into a fantastic life of misunderstood sideshow freaks and grotesque creatures of the night, he vanishes from the safety of a boring existence, and puts at risk his relationship with his best friend to fulfill his destiny.

Think of Cirque du Freak as the vampire version of ‘Harry Potter’. Unfortunately, the magic just isn’t there.  A supporting cast that includes mexican actress Salma Hayek as ‘the bearded woman’ doesn’t even manage to spice things up. I will say however, that John C. Reilly (Step Brothers, Walk Hard) who plays Crepsely – The vampire who mentors young Darren and shows him how to develop his vampire abilities – shows his acting range and takes on a role we rarely see him in.

Unless you already a diehard fan of the books, I advise to stay away from the film.  The characters are dull and uninviting. You will leave the theater without a care in the world and a few dollars poorer.

One final note: Isn’t actor Chris Massoglia the spitting image of a young Ralph Macchio (The Karate Kid)?

Jack Rico

By

2010/02/23 at 12:00am

The Box

02.23.2010 | By |

Rating: 3.0

Rated: PG-13 for thematic elements, some violence and disturbing images.
Release Date: 2009-11-06
Starring: Richard Kelly
Director(s):
Distributor:
Film Genre:
Country:USA
Official Website: http://www.thebox-movie.com/

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With such a simple title, how can ‘The Box’ end up being so convoluted? Thank director/writer Richard Kelly (the mastermind behind Southland Tales, one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen) for that costly gaffe. This film had the promise to be exceptional, marked by its beginning and ending, but the middle wrapped itself in tangled conundrums and it never managed to fully correct itself.

Norma and Arthur Lewis (Cameron Diaz and James Marsden), a suburban couple with a young child, receive a simple wooden box as a gift, which bears fatal and irrevocable consequences. A mysterious stranger (Frank Langella), delivers the message that the box promises to bestow upon its owner $1 million with the press of a button. But, pressing this button will simultaneously cause the death of another human being somewhere in the world; someone they don’t know. With just 24 hours to have the box in their possession, Norma and Arthur find themselves in the cross-hairs of a startling moral dilemma and must face the true nature of their humanity.

The message at its core is the avarice of men and how its implications will set off the cataclysmic genocide of mankind. This deep philosophical notion was not told well by Kelly. I don’t mind a mental challenge while at the movies, but at least provide me with some clarirty while you tell it. His adapted script is based on the short story ‘Button, Button’ from legendary fantasy writer Richard Matheson (I Am Legend, What Dreams May Come) and it is quite seductive and full of intrigue. Kelly’s version had the chance to be just as good if it weren’t for the occasional hiccups.

On the other hand, Ms. Diaz, of cuban ancestors, and Mr. Marsden (Enchanted, 27 Dresses) did a wonderful job of deciphering the jumbled script to give, in my opinion, strong and compelling performances. Marsden, in particular, is good every time out. Even in family fare such as ‘Enchanted’ (he was hilarious in it), Marsden can be proud of his work. Unfortunately, Langella just didn’t have enough to work from here.

Was it suspenseful? Yes. Was it interesting and compelling? Yes. Did it get so incoherent that it irrevocably lost me? Yes to that! Enjoy the film if you so choose, but remember, you’re also paying more than you should for it. It is not a bad film, but wait, wait, wait for it on DVD.

Jack Rico

By

2010/02/23 at 12:00am

The September Issue

02.23.2010 | By |

Rating: 3.5

Rated: PG-13 for brief strong language.
Release Date: 2009-08-28
Starring: Documentary
Director(s):
Distributor:
Film Genre:
Country:USA
Official Website: http://www.theseptemberissue.com/

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Karen Posada

By

2010/02/23 at 12:00am

Cop Out

02.23.2010 | By |

Cop Out

Cop Out’ is well-rounded movie in the sense that each character contributes something different to it, it is this characteristic that makes it entertaining. It is not an original piece though, it is like seeing another sequel of such movies as ‘Lethal Weapon’, although the humor in it does make it stand out more. There are a lot of stereotypes that took away from the movie as well as some bad choices on secondary characters.

The story revolves around two NYPD officers who get into a whole lot of trouble for a baseball card that leads them to solve a major gang plot. Jimmy Monroe (Bruce Willis) seems to have done everything wrong in his life, so he wants to fix his mistakes by paying for his daughter’s wedding. The only issue is that he has the salary of a cop therefore can’t afford the wedding, unless he sells a rare, mint-condition baseball card he owns. His partner, Paul Hodges (Tracy Morgan) is devoted to help him despite of him having his own problems such as dealing with insecurity issues in his marriage. In their journey they loose their card to Dave (Seann William Scott) who becomes their assistant and leads them to the mexican gang who not only is in possession of the card but are also the ones to blame for other crimes in the area. Their leader Poh Boy (Guillermo Diaz) is bloodthirsty and wants nothing more than to expand his drug-dealing business out of Brooklyn, he begins by capturing Mexican beauty Gabriela (Ana De la Reguera) who holds the key for him to accomplish his master plan.

Director Kevin Smith did a good job at casting, Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. They make a great team, Morgan is hilarious and comes up with the weirdest funniest things to say and do; while Willis with his strong character carries the movie forward as the responsible role he depicts, although he looks most comfortable in the action scenes. Sean William Scott has a love/hate relationship with Morgan, that is very funny in a ‘annoying younger brother’ kind of way. Diaz plays the role of a villain with a comedic side which he does well and De la Reguera is a tough damsel in distress that balances things out. The rest of the latino crew does a horrible job starting by their Spanish. Cory Fernandez should be ashamed of his performance as well as his nonexistent Spanish. I was disappointed with all the stereotypes in the film towards hispanics (mexican gangs, brute unintelligent men, violence, etc).

Overall the film is entertaining, a good laugh. There is lots of unnecessary cursing so make sure to go with adults only. Check out our interview with Willis and Morgan so you can look out for their favorite scenes in the film, as well as the Spanish they picked up on the set.

Jack Rico

By

2010/02/18 at 12:00am

The Ghost Writer

02.18.2010 | By |

The Ghost Writer

‘The Ghost Writer’, Roman Polanski’s new film is a political thriller that is set up almost exactly like Hitchcock’s more campier classic suspense films such as ‘Dial M for Murder’ or ‘The Man Who Knew Too Much’. It has twist and turns, along with some seldom silly dialogue with obvious winks for the audience. The acting is okay and the pacing is mixed. It begins well, drags through the middle and ends dynamically. Overall, a pleasing and modestly engaging film that is enjoyable. You’re money won’t be thrown away here.

The story, based on a book by Robert Harris, unfolds with a ghostwriter (Ewan McGregor) who is hired to complete the memoirs of a former British prime minister (Pierce Brosnan) who then later uncovers secrets that will put his own life in jeopardy.

This isn’t Polanski’s first stab at thrillers. He shot one 22 years ago called “Frantic” with Harrison Ford and that one went very well for him. I’m not sure why he would take so long to entertain us with another one? When you compare this movie to the great classic political thrillers in history such as ‘All The President’s Men,’ ‘The Manchurian Candidate,’ (1962) or ‘JFK,’ it is not as entertaining nor as intriguing as the those, but it also isn’t shameful by any stretch of the imagination.

It just happens that both Scorsese and Polanski have new movies out this Friday, February 19. Though they are vastly different directors, their latest films are thrillers. Shutter Island is the most absorbing and entertaining of the two. But if you can’t get tickets to that, The Ghost Writer is definitely a great option and it’s a bit easier to figure out.

Jack Rico

By

2010/02/17 at 12:00am

Law Abiding Citizen

02.17.2010 | By |

Rating: 3.0

Rated: R for strong bloody brutal violence and torture, a scene of rape, and pervasive language.
Release Date: 2009-10-16
Starring: Kurt Wimmer
Director(s):
Distributor:
Film Genre:
Country:USA
Official Website: http://www.lawabidingcitizenfilm.com/

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Jack Rico

By

2010/02/17 at 12:00am

Shutter Island

02.17.2010 | By |

Shutter Island

The new psychological thriller, “Shutter Island,” based on the popular novel by Dennis Lehane, comes from the dexterous and practiced hands of legendary director Martin Scorsese. The film is deluged with a plethora of twists and turns, brilliant acting by Leonardo DiCaprio and jarring scenes of suspense created and framed to perfection by its helmer. You should be excited to see this film… the entertainment value is high and the production quality is of the highest caliber. It’s definitely a must see movie!

For those of you who unfamiliar with the plotline, we’ll reveal only a succinct version.  The film adaptation tells the tale of two U.S. marshals, Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo), who are summoned to a remote and barren island off the cost of Massachusetts to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a prisoner from the island’s fortress-like mental ward. Not much can else be revealed because anything more can ruin the movie experience.

One thing you will take away from this movie is Scorsese’s prowess in the visual department. Some of the camera shots seen make you wish the projectionist could pause them and play it over and over again. After seeing all of DiCaprio’s films, Shutter Island, in my humble opinion, is perhaps one of the top 3 best performances of his career (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Shutter Island and Basketball Diaries, in order). That is what you await at your local theater this weekend.
 
A major subtext in the movie’s theme is a question asked by all of us, at one point or another in our lives: Am I mad, or is the world around me mad? What’s real and what is not? (I’ve been there before). Just like Hitchcock, the story is constantly deviating us from our path of clarity, creating scenes that don’t really exist and submerging us into a nightmare we can’t manage to wake up from.

At first, the film seems to be just another intriguing noir detective story but it is so much more than that. The references and homages in the film are multiple, everything from “Out of the Past” to “Shock Corridor” and “The Snake Pit” to Hitchcock’s “Spellbound.”

“Shutter Island” is a world where nothing is what it appears to be. It’s suspenseful, mysterious, ambiguous and insane. Now that sounds like a fun movie!

Jack Rico

By

2010/02/16 at 12:00am

From Mexico with Love

02.16.2010 | By |

Rating: 1.5

Rated: Not available.
Release Date: 2009-10-09
Starring: Glen Hartford, Nicholas Siapkaris
Director(s):
Distributor:
Film Genre:
Country:Mexico
Official Website: www.frommexicowithlove.com

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